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Veteran Wife

This is a discussion on Veteran Wife within the Veterans Affairs forums, part of the Armed Services category; Hello everyone! I want to start off by thanking each and every one of you for your service to our country. I have never been ...


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Old August 19th, 2016, 12:05 AM   #1
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Question Veteran Wife

Hello everyone! I want to start off by thanking each and every one of you for your service to our country. I have never been in the military but I do have utmost respect for any one who has made the decision to serve.
I'm here because I am married to someone claiming to be a veteran. Unfortunately, our marriage has fallen apart due to my husband being a pathological/habitual/compulsive liar whatever you may want to call it. His military service has been something that was a hot topic in our marriage and in it ending I just want closure and it's been something I've wondered over the years if it was all made up.
Basically, my husband has told me that he was involved in ROTC throughout most of high school. He never completely high school and intentionally dropped out having his mother sign a waiver stating he could join the army at 17 and they made an exception for him to join without a high school diploma. He said he scored high on his ASVAB and was set to become a combat medic. He completed his boot camp training in Texas and upon graduation moved back home and lived with his mom and grandma and did his medic training at the Travis Air Force base hospital in Fairfield, CA. He has told me he got his orders to be deployed to Kuwait and when his grandmother found out he would be shipped off she landed in the hospital with a heart attack. He said his family blamed him for the heart attack with him joining the army and that putting stress on his grandmother. He then stopped showing up for work at the hospital and went awol for 7 days because he was scared, felt guilty that he caused the heart attack and couldn't leave his grandmother's side. His supervisor finally got a hold of him and was told he was in real trouble for basically abandoning his training and not telling anyone where he went. At that point he nearly completed his combat medic training but because he left was given two options; be thrown in jail for basically abandoning his post or have his military record expunged completely showing no sign of him ever joining. He chose to latter to have all trace of his military experience erased.
In our marriage my husband boasted a lot about his army experience to anyone who had an ear to listen. He would make it appear that he completed his 4 year term and leave out that he essentially quit. Anyone in the military he would automatically act like one of them. He would wear his dog tags and carry military backpacks he'd order online with his last name attached to it. I always had a hard time because it felt like it was taking the honor away from someone who actually completed their time commitment vs someone who only did basic training and quit. I've had multiple people come up to me and question whether he actually served at all and no one attended his basic training graduation or can vouch for him. There's no pictures that I've seen. He's given me his dog tags and his PFC/E-3 pins while we were dating because I was smitten by this soldier. When he applied for our sheriff dept to become a cop while running his background check he told me they only traced him signing up for the army but there is no record after that.

My question is this something that could happen? Even now that we've separated he's constantly ordering dog tags and military equipment online. He claims completing boot camp was the hardest thing he'd ever done and finds pride and identity in wearing army paraphernalia which was always hard for me to understand because I saw it as him never finishing. Maybe I just don't get it but if any of you have any insight I'd gladly hear it! I know it all sounds a little nutty.

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Old August 19th, 2016, 04:53 AM   #2
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Welcome to the M14 Forum Lisswentz. Just make yourself at home here. Check out the unique forums, and let us hear from you often, have a good weekend look for his DD214 paperwork. All info will be true with that paper in your hand!

I'm moving this thread to the "Veterans Affairs" to receive many more members helping you in support with your issue.


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Old August 19th, 2016, 05:19 AM   #3
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Welcome to the forum from CT.
Many of us that have served can sympathize with you.
As suggested a DD214 will bring out the truth which seems to be lacking.
Good luck.

Semper Fi
Art

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Old August 19th, 2016, 07:34 AM   #4
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As others have suggested, the DD214 will reveal what he did, where he served and how long he was in the military. Even if all he did was report to Bootcamp, then was sent home a few weeks later, the DD214 will document it.

"he left was given two options; be thrown in jail for basically abandoning his post or have his military record expunged completely showing no sign of him ever joining" This statement would/should raise a few eyebrows among Veterans. If the local Sheriff's Department background investigation reveals he joined the U.S. Army, but no record of Bootcamp or other training, that should send up another red flag.

Welcome to the forum. We hope you get the answers you are seeking.

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Old August 19th, 2016, 07:56 AM   #5
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so what time frame is this?

because a lot of that story smells fishy

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Old August 19th, 2016, 08:02 AM   #6
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If he trained as an army medic, he should have done it at Fort Sam Houston, TX.

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Old August 19th, 2016, 09:19 AM   #7
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I also haven't heard of any Army basic training conducted anywhere in Texas for many decades. Kinda sounds to me like he has his services confused...

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Old August 19th, 2016, 09:31 AM   #8
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The only place in Texas that had Basic Training in the past 50 years was Fort Bliss. I believe their last cycle was in 1990. Without seeing that DD214 I wouldn't believe anything, and even then, I would be skeptical.

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Old August 19th, 2016, 09:43 AM   #9
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I don't know you and wish you the best of luck in your research for truth. There's always 2 sides of the coin in divorce. Most people I know who served would not buy dog tags and backpacks with their name on them over the Internet.

Your description leads me to believe you married someone that wanted to be something he wasn't. It's all kind of weird.
That's the vibe I get from your description of events.

He's got serious issues and now that you know, be on the lookout for other areas of concern beyond the military stories. Maybe therapy helps him. Maybe he is pathological and he's just wired differently and beyond therapy. They are the best at deception.


Last edited by Capona; August 20th, 2016 at 10:22 AM.
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Old August 19th, 2016, 09:51 AM   #10
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I've never heard of an expunged record in my 69 years, and I am a vet. Unit and high school yearbooks may be available, and as others have said, a DD214.

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Old August 19th, 2016, 10:11 AM   #11
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Quote:
Originally Posted by dsdmmat View Post
If he trained as an army medic, he should have done it at Fort Sam Houston, TX.
That's what I was going to say. Ft. Sam Houston for medic's training, at least in '74-'75 when I was stationed at Ft. Hood.

Quote:
Originally Posted by nicholst55 View Post
I also haven't heard of any Army basic training conducted anywhere in Texas for many decades. Kinda sounds to me like he has his services confused...
Quote:
Originally Posted by 00F4B View Post
The only place in Texas that had Basic Training in the past 50 years was Fort Bliss. I believe their last cycle was in 1990. Without seeing that DD214 I wouldn't believe anything, and even then, I would be skeptical.
When I in the Army in '74-'77, The nearest Basic Combat Training base closest to Texas was Ft. Polk in Louisiana. We went to a very large multi-service maneuver at Ft. Bliss in April of '75 and there was no BCT there at the time, just advanced training on missiles and air defense artillery. Guy sounds like a "wannabe". Again, like others have said, check his DD-214. Those are his separation from service papers that everybody gets. Has his entire military history on it. Date of enlistment, places he was stationed, (including temporary duty), rank, awards, i.e. everything he did in the service. That will tell the story. -Lloyd

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Old August 19th, 2016, 12:10 PM   #12
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First, let me state that I am not a Veteran, and because I am not a Veteran, I hold all Veterans in the highest esteem.

I know of two guys who did go into the military (they are not my friends, believe me, just people I know), but for some reason or other, never made it much past boot camp.

One who stated one night at a neighborhood dinner that after Army Boot Camp he went to Vietnam, served there and that it was tough duty. His wife looked at him incredulously and told me that her husband never made it out of boot camp due to a "back injury". They got divorced shortly thereafter because it apparently was not the only thing he was lying about.

The other guy came to my attention when his co-workers came to me and wanted to know if he was really a Navy Seal as he claimed.

Now this guy I have known since the early 1970's. I know he went to Navy Boot Camp, but that he did not stay in the Navy for very long, his wife told my wife that it was an injury thing as well. And, unless this guy was a Navy Seal when he was 16 or 17 years old. It just doesn't wash. He and his wife are still together, she is a saint. You should know that he never claimed to be a Navy Seal in front of me, probably because I know too much.

My point is that this claiming to be what you are not has been going on for a long time, I do not understand any of it. Your husband is apparently another one of these guys, if he even went into boot camp as he claimed.

Your bigger question should be what else is he lying about?

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Old August 19th, 2016, 01:04 PM   #13
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Originally Posted by unkola View Post
That's what I was going to say. Ft. Sam Houston for medic's training, at least in '74-'75 when I was stationed at Ft. Hood.


When I in the Army in '74-'77, The nearest Basic Combat Training base closest to Texas was Ft. Polk in Louisiana. We went to a very large multi-service maneuver at Ft. Bliss in April of '75 and there was no BCT there at the time, just advanced training on missiles and air defense artillery. Guy sounds like a "wannabe". Again, like others have said, check his DD-214. Those are his separation from service papers that everybody gets. Has his entire military history on it. Date of enlistment, places he was stationed, (including temporary duty), rank, awards, i.e. everything he did in the service. That will tell the story. -Lloyd
Maybe you just didn't look in the right place.
I have kept up with it, because I was a Drill Sergeant at Fort Bliss many years ago and some of my old partners in crime made El Paso their home after retirement.

This is from Wikipedia:

While the United States Army Air Defense Artillery School develops doctrine and tactics, training current and future soldiers has always been its core mission. Until 1990 the post was used for Basic Training and Advanced Individual Training (AIT), under the 1/56 ADA Regiment, part of 6th ADA. Before 1989, 1/56 had three basic training companies and two AIT batteries. After 1990, 1/56 dropped basic training, that mission assumed by Fort Sill.

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Old August 19th, 2016, 02:05 PM   #14
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The DD214 tells all. Neither the Army or the Department Of Defense have a program to completely expunge records. Your husband's story, I am sure, is just a story - it never happened.

Brian
Major, USA Retired

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Last edited by case42so; August 20th, 2016 at 02:48 PM.
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Old August 19th, 2016, 02:27 PM   #15
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If it walks like a duck, quacks like a duck.....

He's not worth your time to research in my opinion.....shows all the signs of a mentally unbalanced poser.....

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