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This is a discussion on Veteran Wife within the Veterans Affairs forums, part of the Armed Services category; The guy is a total flake. Not only is his military story complete B.S., the claim that an LEO would give him a handgun while ...


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Old August 20th, 2016, 09:39 AM   #31
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The guy is a total flake. Not only is his military story complete B.S., the claim that an LEO would give him a handgun while he was doing ride along is something that would never happen. His claim that he shot and killed someone while on the ride along is absolutely ridiculous. Court cases and law suits would have been ongoing for years.

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Old August 20th, 2016, 10:12 AM   #32
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Welcome to the forum; I'm sorry you are going through such trouble. Coming out of any divorce can be hard, especially on the kids. But coming out of a marriage based on lies can be very troubling times. I think you are doing the right thing trying to get some custody; I imagine it will be difficult unless you can prove he's unsafe beyond the lying.

I'm currently enlisted (13years AD) and hang out with a lot of mil vets at my local range. Neither they, my current mil buds or me act in any way you described. Good luck and please stick around.

Best of wishes,

Russ

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Old August 20th, 2016, 10:37 AM   #33
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Sorry to hear of all the stress you husbands stories have put you thru. I know it's hard but try not to let his lies get you so spun up that you lose focus on the important issues of yours and the children's future.

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Old August 20th, 2016, 10:38 AM   #34
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Yes, I've been told there aren't helicopter jumps in basic. To an average person with no experience they wouldn't know that and its believable.

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Old August 20th, 2016, 10:44 AM   #35
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Originally Posted by Mattitude View Post
Lisswentz, you will be wasting your time if you continue to pursue trying to get your husband to come clean as it will never happen. I've never seen an issue dog tag with an address & phone number on it...yea 100% fake and no military branch will let you put anything you want on a dog tag. Personally I hated basic training and there wasn't one fond memory, but it wasn't what I would call hard as a lot of it deals with mental coping skills & attention to detail and there is no way in hell that I would want to move to San Antonio just so I could be near Lackland AFB. I never heard of any Army recruit jumping out of helicopters in boot camp.

There is a whole scam that guys do claiming to be military solely to prey on women, and they are very good at it. Some of these guys have either tried to enlist, dropped out of boot camp or had a family member in the military so they will have some knowledge to sound like they know what they are talking about but there are still some things that you can do to vet at least some of their claims. If they claim to still be enlisted ask to see their ID card, now called a CAC. Dog tags don't count for anything. Ask for a duty phone number or at least a phone number in his unit. Just about every military person I know has enough pictures of them either in a deployed location or at least some pictures of them doing "military" stuff in uniform and with other soldiers/airmen. If he doesn't have a single picture then I'd be VERY suspicious, and don't fall for that classified crap...guys still find a way to take pictures, and they do. Anyway, good luck and focus your energy on your kids and write your husband off as a total loss and a mistake and move on. You weren't the first and won't be the last to fall for the fake military guy.
I'm realizing that now, I just want closure and for him to admit it but he never will. I do not understand why people do that. Strangely his dad was actually in the military and he would show me pictures of his dad in uniform and I think he wanted to follow in his footsteps but never made it. Unfortunately, his dad was out of the picture for a long time or else I could've found this out a lot sooner.

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Old August 20th, 2016, 10:54 AM   #36
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This guy needs therapy.....quickly. In my opinion he could be dangerous to himself or others if his imaginary "world" comes crashing down around him and he suddenly finds himself in reality all alone.

Requesting sole custody of the children is smart....please consider a restraining order as well.

You are right, this is a safe place here for you to vent and ask questions for truthful responses/advice.....but we can't protect you from physical harm. He has already abused you enough emotionally.....stop it before it gets worse. Erase this guy from your life....I still think "serious" full time Posers are mentally ill and need help.

Get with his family. Suggest an "intervention" of some form and demand he seek help.
He tried one therapy session a few months ago and was really upset by it afterwards. Told me it doesn't work because it forced him to see what he keeps tightly wrapped up in a box inside. He still won't tell me what happened in that session and hasn't gone back.
He's cut off pretty much all of his family because I've told them what i know. He got angry and told me I had no right and now plays the victim and claims that they all stopped talking to him due to what I've said but when I talk to them they all say they've tried to reach out to him so he's lying about that. He moved 6 hours away and moved in with his Mom, she also backed up his military lies all these years.
He's always been a very sweet, kind man. Like a big teddy bear so it's very difficult finding out how manipulative, controlling and deceiving he really is. He has gotten very angry but has never laid hands on me. Essentially, I have no idea who I married and have no clue as to what's real and what's just made up. During out 8 year marriage he would even come to me emotionally upset because he found out certain 'platoon members' were killed in Afghanistan and how it could've been him. He would spend the entire day upset by it but it was all an act.

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Old August 20th, 2016, 11:00 AM   #37
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Originally Posted by dist1646 View Post
The guy is a total flake. Not only is his military story complete B.S., the claim that an LEO would give him a handgun while he was doing ride along is something that would never happen. His claim that he shot and killed someone while on the ride along is absolutely ridiculous. Court cases and law suits would have been ongoing for years.
He's admitted the story of killing someone was fake but he still stands by being given a hand gun. He supposedly also went to court because a suspect was killed that night and he was a witness due to being a ride along. Said he lied under oath to protect the deputy because he could lose his job for giving him a hand gun. Of course because I don't suspect someone would lie about this I believed him but common sense now tells me an officer wouldn't respond to a dangerous call with a ride along. To me that would be a HUGE liability for the department. Makes me wonder if the ride along happened at all because he came home with so many crazy stories. I have a family member in PD who called that sheriff and was told no one was even killed that night and I also think no shots were fired.

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Old August 20th, 2016, 11:08 AM   #38
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Originally Posted by russmerle View Post
Welcome to the forum; I'm sorry you are going through such trouble. Coming out of any divorce can be hard, especially on the kids. But coming out of a marriage based on lies can be very troubling times. I think you are doing the right thing trying to get some custody; I imagine it will be difficult unless you can prove he's unsafe beyond the lying.

I'm currently enlisted (13years AD) and hang out with a lot of mil vets at my local range. Neither they, my current mil buds or me act in any way you described. Good luck and please stick around.

Best of wishes,

Russ
Thanks. He's been checked out for many years and hasn't been a very present parent so the kids are adjusting and are resilient. Prior to our separation I was working with his doctors to help him with a narcotic addiction. He checked himself into the ER about 13 times in the past year. His medical record from several hospitals state he is opiod dependent. His problems with prescription pain meds is the primary reason for requesting sole custody all these other lying stories just backs up my request of him not being allowed to have the kids. Because it proves his back issue is more than likely faked and exaggerated.

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