M14 Forum

AirConda · December 20th, 2011, 11:50 AM

This is something my dad typed up a while ago and has sent to me recently. I thought it was pretty well done and had some good points. Unfortunately everything in here is true. Just as a filler. My dad and I enjoy studying the Civil War so when he comes to visit me in Virginia he tries to hit up a different battlefield or two with each visit. That is what brought us to Fredericksburg. The "Figures" mentioned in the quote below are attached. I will apologize for a long read but it is a good one.

Quote:

A Sign of the Times…
An encounter at Fredericksburg…
Troy A*****
11/28/2011
The Bivouac of the Dead. This classic poem was written on tablets scattered throughout this beautiful place. My daughter noted, "...forgotten by man but not by God...it was as if God had covered them with a beautiful blanket of leaves." (Photo taken at, Fredericksburg National Cemetery; all Civil War era veterans killed in the Fredericksburg area. Many near this very spot on Dec 11-15, 1862)

A SIGN OF THE TIMES
Have you ever had a situation that you just cannot get out of your mind? You know something that you have seen / experienced and you are so: saddened, shocked, terrified, surprised, etc. that it just stays focused in your mind?

Well I have, and more than once, but one just recently has troubled me more than most! Here is what happened...

Many of you have probably seen the Facebook posts I have been making about my quest to visit all the state of Maine's memorials to the Civil War; memorials that have been erected in towns from Kittery to Presque Isle, from Portland to Waldoboro.

Well, I recently visited the Fredericksburg National Battlefield in Fredericksburg, Virginia, and one of the places I was most looking forward to visit was the National Cemetery; a beautiful cemetery that contains the graves of over 15,000 union soldiers who were killed in the immediate area around Fredericksburg.

(The Battle of Fredericksburg - Dec 11-15th 1862 - would have over 8,000 union causalities, which is killed and wounded, and all within sight of this cemetery. Ironically they died trying to push the Confederates off the ground held, on our around this memorial park, and now they are buried there. Also of the 15,000 plus soldiers, only around 2,400 to 3,000 have been identified)
The reason for my eagerness to see this cemetery was to pay respect to all veterans, but especially some of those from Maine. (There are eleven members of the famed 20th Maine alone interred here, not to mention I also have counted around 135 Maine men total; all who were killed in the Fredericksburg area. One man named Albert Small was from our little town of Lisbon, a town in which I was raised, would go to school, and would live in for over 20 years.)

So the day would come (Nov 25th, the day after Thanksgiving), a day in which my family would graciously agree to accompany me in this on-going quest. It was a beautiful day and we made are way up Marye's Heights, down Sunken Road, past the Innis House and the beautiful and moving monument called the "Angel of Marye's Heights", then finally we started to move up the crest of Marye's Heights, overlooking the town of Fredericksburg, to the

Figure 1 - Civil War Monument at Bar Harbor
Figure 2 - The Angel at Marye's Heights. One of the most moving Civil War Monuments I have ever seen

National Cemetery. We moved through the grounds all the while looking at the vast sea of markers, most of which were unknown, and some of which contained the remains of three, or four soldiers in the same grave.
As we were moving along I noticed this family (see picture to the left) that was carelessly moving through the grounds; walking over the graves of the soldiers...They were kicking leaves as they went and moving towards a huge tree in the center of the cemetery. This troubled me, as I was brought up to show respect in a cemetery, which meant being careful to not walk over someone’s grave... But to my horror, I watched as the oldest looking boy then climbed up on a marker and started to balance on it... (Again see picture) After pausing long enough to take a picture, I looked at my wife and asked if it would bother her if I went to address this breach of ethics... She responded no, and off I went (Little did I know my son Anthony, who is a Staff Sergeant in the USAF, was hot on my heels!) I confronted the boy, and the family, asking him to please step down, and to show more respect for this fallen soldier. He ignored me at first and a younger boy responded, the one sitting under the tree, but the boy on the grave marker (who had by then stepped down) kept his back to me. I thanked the boy who responded, but made it clear I was not addressing him... finally the other boy turned and I addressed my comments to him.

With that went back to my family (Anthony had added his own two-cents-worth as well). When I got back to my wife I looked at her and said that I was not sure what troubled me more... The boy who was old enough to know better... or the parents / adults who were with the group of kids and had not seemed to care... during the encounter the father (?) moved away from the rest of the group, walking away from me seemingly ignoring the situation, the mother (?) said nothing even though she was standing beside the boy on the gravestone!

Figure 3 - Hard to see but notice what the young man is standing on... (This was taken just moments before my encounter…)

Here is my challenge! I am tired of watching an old western where men tip there hat to ladies, or a passing hearse. I am tired of seeing old shows that show men opening doors for women, and women genuinely thanking them. I am tired seeing shows where a husband will bring in the groceries for the wife instead of making her do it while he watches the news.
My wife and I have talked about this in detail and we talk about how "the culture has changed" the “society is different now”. Well it is time to stop making excuses and time to start training our children, no matter what their age is - it is never too late. We are to blame and no-one-else society changed because one generation did not pass it on to their children...
This brings me to my final story! And a short one! The same day I also saw a father with his 6 to 8 year old son. As he entered the cemetery he bent over and started to tell his son the proper etiquette while in a cemetery; this made me smile as there is hope!

So do something strange, take your family to a military cemetery, and tell them about the sacrifices made by those buried there (If you are not near one, go to a local town cemetery, in just my little town of Durham I have found veterans from the Revolutionary War all the way to current conflicts) - or take them to an ancestors grave, maybe one they do not know, and have them put flowers on the grave... (Maybe show them pictures first and tell stories about their ancestor.)

Have them open a door for a lady at a store or carry the groceries out for a little old lady, or an elderly man for that matter.
Ladies - teach your daughters to smile and say thank you when a door is opened, teach them to be gracious and allow the action even if they feel they can “do it themselves”, as one lady once rudely said to me. Teach your daughters to say thank you....

Figure 4 - Figure 4 - One of the many Maine men I found in just about twenty minutes or less among the 15000 plus memorials! This memorial is for Randal S Chase, a private in the 20th Maine; he died on Jan 26th 1863. (notice the two flat markers behind him, these men sadly are unknown…)